Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Things have been kind of crazy lately.
Delma had major surgery and came through it very well. She is doing wonderfully in her recovery. At the same time, Little One somehow either injured her leg...or there is something else going on in there that IS NOT welcome and she has been limping for almost a month. Has another appointment, a referral to an Orthopedic specialist tomorrow. If you know my sinful nature, I tend to be a worrier so...I've conjured up every horrible disease known to man for the pain to be a symptom of. (I do know better than to go on WebMD though: "Don't tell me it could be cancer! I my sick, worrisome mind KNOWs it could be cancer...tell me how unlikely that is, tell me how it just has to be something else."
Another incredible possible blessing in the financial department has turned into a nightmare. Not only is there to be no financial blessing...but it is looking like it could cost us quite a bit (no I did not try a get rich scheme....I was just minding my own business).
My car is broken. Like, put her out of her misery broken.
Delma lost perhaps the most important parent-figure in her life over the weekend and this was certainly taxing on her and her family.
But God is FOR me and my family. He is present in these trials that come to "test" my faith. He answers my questions with real reassurances. And praise Him, He reminds me to be wary of self-pity and fear.
These trials are the trials of life...just bunched a little closer than I like.
He is using, and will use them to train me to be the servant I asked Him to make me to be. (WHY did I pray that!?) He is and will use them to grow Little One out beyond herself (sorry Little One...but we all need that kind of training). And He is bringing about His perfection.
I was grumbling to myself last night during a particularly unpleasant part of the weekend and, after rebuking the self-pity and frustration suddenly thought, clear as a bell, "What blessing is there without suffering?"
What knowledge is gained without trial and difficulty.
What good is the tool that never gets "dinged?"
I'm done living in the tool kit, safely tucked into the pockets, all shiny and polished, never used.
God has every right to use the life He gave me however He chooses to do so. There is no drowning in His arms.
"Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary." Isaiah 40:31