I don't like to offend ANYONE...But I am really ticked. I ate lunch with my daughter today at her school and sat there quietly listening to the conversation in the group in which we sat. Two girls, two boys, and me. The conversation started out as usual 3rd grade chatter about this or that. One of the boys wanted to be president and he shared who could serve with him. There was the border work (childish flirting) about who would marry who.
And then it turned ugly. The boys both pointed at the most popular girl in third grade and ridiculed her innocent actions from afar. ("Crap," I thought to myself, "My daughter is sitting with the geeks who can't do anything but make fun of popular people.")
Then the little boy I will affectionately call "TURD" said to me: "Mr. Hickam, Mr. Hickam (chuckle, chuckle) guess what (so and so) told (so and so...the girl sitting with my daughter)." Then he turns to the other boy and says, "Tell him, tell him about the bed."
Mayday, mayday, I think to myself and take a very keen interest in my daughters food.
The other boy is smart enough, or has boundary's enough to be embarrassed. But, of course, as turds do, his friend continued..."He was going to do it to her."
I was very obviously ignoring him at this point and he was no longer speaking to me. My daughter, who hardly said a word the whole time played oblivious to the entire exchange. I could have called attention to it by playing parent...but imagined the ridicule this would bring upon my daughter in the future. After all, these are the geeks apparently, who like to make fun of everything. So I just talked to little one about her day, and the weekend...and started composing what I will say to her about what she is facing in school.
I guess it is a gift that I was privy to this. I need to know what she is being sucked into due to the relationships she is forming, or are being formed around her.
I'm ticked though. I've always thought it sucks that we spend so much time tearing others down...but I've always understood that you don't talk to girls like that. You talk with your guy friends about that stuff all the time....but never in front of girls.
So who is the Little Turd's father? Does he know how badly he is failing....and how one man's failure ripples outward and impacts other innocents.
Crap. What can I possibly do but pull her out of the whole school. I can't tell her who she can and can't sit with...she will be forced by peer pressure to disobey and thus begin the process of hiding things from her parents because we burden her with impossible demands.
"Get away from my child you Turd!" Maybe I should have said something. Yeah, I think I should have said something...Crap. I guess I'm the Turd too.
God give me the words to speak so that she will hear the truth....(but I would also appreciate it if you could help her find some good people to be friends with).
Monday, January 25, 2010
After not blogging for so long, I figure the best way to get back into the swing is to just...start.
Christmas was wonderful at our house. At 9, I believe this was probably one of Dora Diane's very last years believeing in Santa. She loves the mystery and excitement of Christmas. That is one thing Mom always did for us...made Christmas amazing. Dad gets credit there as well.
On Christmas morning, Dora got up first and went down the dark hall into the "dark" living room to see if Santa had come. Delma and I had been laying awake for about 45 minutes just waiting for her to wake up...we didn't want to ruin it for her. She ran out and then RAN back to the safety of our bedroom to announce, then ran back....you know, most of you have seen similar joy. I wish we could bottle it up when we are young and then take it in doses as we age.
Another source of joy for our family were the 3, count them THREE separate days of snow. We so love snow in our house. Dora and I spent hours each day gathering, building, and throwing snowballs. We prided ourselves in being the only house on the block which used up our entire yard of snow each day.
School is back in session. I have been very nervous for the past two weeks. So much so I even let the thought of medication pass my mind. Just a tiny little bit to cut the edge off.... Unfortunately, I don't think I will persue it. My anxiety over standing in front of a classroom full of people is minor and is something that I can treat behaviorally. It has a purpose...the more I prepare, the less anxious I feel (go figure!). The pill would be easy for me....but I don't think it would make me a better teacher. So I'm not Steve Martin up there....maybe I can at least share some interesting and important information.
Delma and I picked up an amazing book after stumbling across it during a Sunday school lesson. It is called Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerich. All I can say is, if you are married and find yourself arguing with your mate about the same old things...or even new things, please read this book...at least pick it up when you see it in the store and read the first chapter. I really think this guy has finally put the truth into simple enough language for me to get. Good stuff.
Dora Diane continues to teach me about life and myself every day. I wish I could convey all of it here, if for nothing else but for her to know as she grows older.
When you read this someday booger...I was just kidding about Santa! Keep your stocking.