Long Time - No Write

You are a senior in High School, princess.

Since you agreed to change schools I have watched as God has slowly and methodically restored your confidence in yourself, and in others who now have the good fortune to call themselves your friends.

I know that it is not easy to accept friendship. It is a messy business trusting others with the small portion of our hearts that we reveal to them. It can sometimes feel like taping a neon sign which reads KICK ME, I CAN'T BLOCK YOU to our backsides; and then, leaving it there after we get kicked, and kicked, and kicked.

People are imperfect. In fact, we suck. Mother Teresa once penned a genius poem which I share here:

People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give the world the best you have anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It never was between you and them, anyway.

I have always loved the simplistic truth to that. It is true no matter which friend group we find ourselves trusting: At work, at play, in our families, with our spouse.

That's why I am so thankful that you have begun to trust again. I know it feels awkward. I know it feels risky. I certainly know that it feels false. I'm an old man and I still don't fully trust those I am around. My solution has always been to be as transparent as I can about SOME things in my life; and to hide the rest. We all hide, it's just that with those we allow in, they know we are hiding. They are too.

We know much about the psychology of hiding or "impression management." It sounds something like, depending on our level of self confidence, this:

I will let you see who I want you to believe I am.
I will let you see who I think you want to believe I am.
I will let you see who I think you will accept and not reject.
I will let you see who I wish I really was, but know I am not.

What is most troubling about each of those however is that it keeps me locked in a cage, OR it keeps others locked in a cage. If we remain guarded and fearful of showing too much of our truth, we have to pile on layers and layers of false self in front of the other person to the point that, they don't really know us at all. They know our mask (our persona).

If you only fall in love with my mask, you are unable to love the real me. This inevitably leads me to then feel lonely and unaccepted.

There will be those trusted few people you will find who will not reject you when they find out you let them down, or you are not perfect. Rather, they will thank you for being real, and for allowing them to finally be real with you too. They will not scold, they will not prod, and they will not judge. They will trust that you are on the path of life just as they are on the path of life.

That's one of the great mysteries of my faith in God. He knows the real me. He knows the me I was. He knows the me I am today. He knows the me I want to be. More, He loves and accepts me in spite of, and because of it all. No mask can fool Him. No act can snow Him. No lie can distort the truth that He sees.

You know what makes it even cooler? He knows the you that you are becoming. He came here to allow that to happen. He died so that we would be free to be who we were meant to be all along, His children. His people. His beloved.

He doesn't want me to have to be the fake me, striving and failing and striving harder. The message which separates Christianity from all other faiths is this:

Once I am in Christ, I am free to be exactly who I am; on my bad days and on my good days because, when He looks at me, He sees the perfection of  His son.

"And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with Him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus," Ephesians 2:6

Notice my little genius it doesn't say "And God will raise us up...." It says He already has.

"What? But God, I'm unreasonable, self-centered, accusatory, cheating, jealous, forgetful, and insatiable."

You know what He says?

"No son, No daughter. I can see all things clearly, as they truly are, and I can see you right now seated at My table. And you look perfect!"